The Church has in a few ways hurt people of many communities, in particular the LGBTQ community (not necessarily just the advocates).
We have often pushed people away when they needed us most by making hurtful remarks like, “You’re struggling because you’re not loving God,” or “Why are you like that? Can’t you just stop being gay?”
At times, we’ve failed to show grace or withhold judgment when listening to those who trust us enough to share their struggles with same-sex attraction (SSA). If we’re unsure of other ways we’ve fallen short, we can simply ask someone with SSA who is willing to share their experiences.
Sadly, when individuals open up to leaders or fellow Christians—a step that requires immense courage—we too often take their trust and vulnerability for granted.
When we attempt to “pray the gay away” or “pray the gay out of someone” without first understanding their feelings or the reasons behind them, we fail to love them as we would love anyone else.
True love involves truly knowing the person being loved. We cannot claim to love someone if our primary focus is to change them without first taking the time to know and understand what they are experiencing.
We have fallen short in giving our best to those who need our love and support. As Howard Stark says in Avengers: Endgame, “The kid’s not even here yet, and there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for him.”
When a parent loves a child, they will not withhold anything good from them. Similarly, we should adopt this selfless attitude in addressing sexual struggles, which are often treated as taboo topics avoided due to their complexity.
Instead, we should take the time to deepen our understanding of the biblical view of sexuality. By doing so, we can better walk alongside one another through sexual struggles and temptations, offering guidance and grace.
Our goal is not to prove someone wrong, we simply want the best (outcome) for our beloved friends and family who experience same-sex attraction or are struggling with other sexual temptations.
We are too quick to jump into “ministry”, thinking that we have to and can cure this problem of theirs. Sure, sin is bad for anyone, but sin is also a product of the fallen and rebellious nature in all of us. This fallen nature goes on to further create multiple types/layers of brokenness in us and through us when we hurt one another out of self-centeredness.
What’s broken needs to be restored. God heals both supernaturally and naturally through His sons and daughters on earth. God cares about them more than we do or can understand. We are not their saviour; God alone can heal the deepest brokenness in their lives (just as He heals ours). Our role in all these is to help one another carry burdens, to be family to one another, to love and support one another to follow Christ.
We have played into the ‘us vs them’ game unintentionally. It makes Christians look militant in our views. We have to re-demonstrate the wisdom and love of God and we can do so without bashing those who hold opposing views from us.
For the above, we can apologise for the hurt which we or other Christians may have caused. We apologise because we love the individuals and recognise mistakes for what they are, not because we have come to think that our stand is wrong.